Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
