I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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