do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
