in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
