but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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