I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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