Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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