can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
