she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
