I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
