it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize