just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
