Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my being single is dangerous.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize