Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
