I wish I could teleport
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
