Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
