I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
