ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
