I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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