I think i sorta joined a cult last night
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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