is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
