This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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