Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
