i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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