Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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