I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
