I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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