Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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