im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
