i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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