never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
