Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
