I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I stole a fireplace last night.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
