i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
