She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
