So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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