dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
