Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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