...so i touched it.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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