how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
