I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
