Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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