It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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