I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Two words: nipple clamps
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