I think my fart just growled at me.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
