Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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