i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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