well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
