Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
