Jerry, you need to find god
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize