My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
