Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
