She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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