I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
COCAINE IS GR8
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize