i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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