I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
