I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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