True but thats because hes a fetus.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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