i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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