I'm lost and stupid without you.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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