Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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