oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
