i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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